Wedding wishing well ideas, wording and etiquette
A wedding wishing well is the modern answer to the couple who already has a home. Instead of a boxed gift, guests contribute money toward the honeymoon, the mortgage, or whatever the two of you are saving for. Here is how to word it kindly and what guests usually give.
What a wedding wishing well is
The wishing well started as a decorated well or post box at the reception that guests dropped cards and cash into. The online version keeps the idea and drops the box: one link the two of you share on the invitation and the website, so guests can give from their phone in the week before the day rather than fumbling for an envelope on the night.
It is the right call when you have lived together for a while and do not need a second toaster. The money can be pointed at anything, which is part of why it has become the default at Australian weddings: a honeymoon, a deposit, the wedding itself, or just a head start on married life.
How a wedding wishing well works
Create your registry as soon as you are engaged: many couples open one for the engagement party and run the same page through to the wedding, so contributions from both events land in one place. Switch on card and bank transfer, add a short note about what the money is going toward, and guests open the link, choose an amount, leave a message, and pay. You see every contribution as it lands, so you can write thank-you cards that name the exact gift and the person who gave it.
Many couples run a wishing well alongside a handful of physical gifts, so guests who would rather shop still have something to buy. You control the balance, and you decide when the funds are transferred to your account.
How much to give at a wedding wishing well
There is no set figure, and no couple should ever print one. As a rough Australian guide, individual guests commonly give between A$100 and A$150, close friends and family often give A$150 to A$250, and couples attending together usually give more as a combined gift. Travel and time off count as part of your gift, so a guest who has flown interstate is not expected to match a local.
Wedding wishing well wording
Classic and warm
Safe for a formal invitation or an older crowd.
A wishing well will be at our reception for those who wish to contribute toward our first home together. Your presence is the only gift we ask for.
We are lucky to have all we need, so in lieu of a gift a small contribution toward our honeymoon would be treasured.
Light and modern
For a relaxed wedding or a younger guest list.
We have got the pots and pans sorted, so if you would like to give a gift, a little something for the honeymoon fund would put a smile on our faces.
A wishing well will be there on the night, and a card is always more than enough.
Wedding wishing well etiquette
Do
- Word it warmly and make it clear that a card alone is welcome.
- Say what the money is broadly for, so guests feel their gift counts.
- List bank transfer beside card so a guest putting in a larger wedding gift is not stung by a processing fee.
- Write a personal thank-you that names the guest and their message.
Don't
- Never name a target amount or a suggested figure on the invitation.
- Do not make the wishing well the loudest line on the invite.
- Avoid pressuring guests who would rather bring a physical gift.
- Do not leave guests without a cash-free option if they prefer one.
Wedding wishing well FAQ
Not any more. The convention shifted in Australia over the last decade as couples married later and moved in together first, so cash gifting is now expected at most weddings rather than frowned upon. The phrase wishing well does the work for you: it signals a gift is welcome but never required. Word it warmly, skip any figure, and make a card-only option obvious, and it reads as gracious rather than grabby.
Lead with gratitude, explain that you have what you need, and offer a soft way to contribute if guests wish to. Avoid demands and figures. The examples above cover formal, playful and short versions you can lift straight onto the invitation.
Give what you can comfortably afford. As a rough Australian guide, most single guests give A$100 to A$150 and close family often gives more. Read our how much to give at a wedding guide for the full picture.
Set up your wedding wishing well
Create a free registry, add a wishing well, and share one link with your guests. Contributions come straight to you and it takes a few minutes.