40th wedding anniversary gifts
Forty years is the ruby wedding anniversary, and the deep red runs through every idea here. Genuine ruby at the top, ruby-toned pieces that hold the theme lower down, sorted for her, for him and for the two of them.
What this anniversary symbolises
Forty years married is a genuinely rare thing, and the material chosen to mark it says so. Ruby is one of the hardest and most valued of the coloured stones, and its deep red has stood for warmth and enduring feeling for centuries. Choosing it for the fortieth is a quiet claim that the fire the couple started with has not gone out, it has just settled into something steadier.
Ruby has long been linked to warmth, vitality and deep feeling, and that is the note the gift is meant to strike. After four decades the passion is not the loud kind from the early years; it is the banked warmth of two people who know each other completely and stayed anyway. A single red stone carries that better than almost anything you could wrap.
A real ruby of any size is expensive, and pretending otherwise helps no one. The good news is that the theme is a colour as much as a stone, so the fortieth gives a lot of room to work: a small genuine ruby at the top of a budget, or a ruby-red keepsake that keeps the look and the meaning without the jewellery-counter price tag lower down.
As with every big milestone, buying by recipient is the fast way in. For her, ruby jewellery is the headline choice and the one the searches keep asking for. For him, a watch with a ruby-red dial or a set of garnet-toned cufflinks carries the theme without asking him to wear a gemstone. For the couple, a red-themed celebration, a bottle of ruby port, or money toward a trip keeps forty years about the two of them.
Traditional gift: Ruby
Ruby is the gift, and for her that means the red stone in a ring, a pendant or a pair of studs. A small genuine ruby set in gold marks the year properly; where the budget will not stretch to a fine stone, a ruby-toned garnet or a lab-grown ruby holds the colour and the sentiment.
Modern gift: Ruby
The modern list stays on ruby too, so the fortieth is unusually focused. For him, look to the colour rather than the stone: a watch with a deep-red dial, garnet cufflinks, or a ruby-red leather piece; for the couple, a ruby glass ornament or a red-themed keepsake that sits out rather than being worn.
- Traditional
- Ruby
- Modern
- Ruby
- Gemstone
- Ruby
Gift ideas by budget
Under $120 (AUD)
Ruby-toned garnet pendant (for her)
A garnet holds the deep red at a fraction of a ruby's cost, so a hallmarked garnet pendant keeps the theme honest without overreaching the budget.
Garnet or ruby-red cufflinks (for him)
A pair of cufflinks in a deep red stone, the way to give him the colour of the year without asking him to wear jewellery he never would.
Ruby glass keepsake (for the couple)
A hand-blown red glass ornament or bowl that catches the light on a shelf, a shared piece that marks the ruby year for the home rather than one person.
Bottle of ruby port
A good tawny or ruby port to open on the night, the theme poured into a glass and shared over the anniversary dinner.
$120 to $600 (AUD)
Small genuine ruby studs (for her)
A pair of stud earrings set with real rubies, modest in size but genuine, the entry point to the actual stone for the milestone.
Watch with a ruby-red dial (for him)
A dress watch with a deep-red face, an everyday gift that carries the fortieth quietly each time he glances at the time.
Ruby-and-gold keepsake (for the couple)
A framed piece or ornament pairing red and gold, a nod to a marriage that is now closer to the golden year than the start.
Red-themed dinner out
A booked table at somewhere special with a bottle of red to match, the ruby theme spent on a night rather than an object.
$600 and up (AUD)
Ruby ring or pendant (for her)
A genuine ruby set in gold, the headline gift for the fortieth and the one the milestone is really named for.
Heirloom watch with ruby detail (for him)
A watch built to be handed down, with a ruby-toned dial or marker, a gift that outlasts the anniversary that prompted it.
Ruby anniversary trip (for the couple)
Money toward a trip they have talked about for years, so forty years is marked by time together rather than a boxed gift.
Re-set original rings with a ruby
Add a small ruby to the couple's existing wedding bands, folding the fortieth into the rings they have worn the whole way.
What to avoid
- A cheap red glass stone sold as a ruby disappoints the moment it is looked at closely; a genuine garnet is a more honest way to hold the colour on a budget.
- Skipping the red theme entirely misses what makes the fortieth distinct; if the budget is tight, keep the colour even when you cannot afford the stone.
- Loud, oversized costume jewellery undercuts the quiet warmth the ruby year stands for; smaller and genuine beats big and fake.
- A gift aimed at only one of them can feel lopsided at a milestone this large; balance a personal piece with something the couple shares.
Ways to celebrate
- Hold a red-themed dinner with the family, down to the flowers and the wine.
- Renew vows and hand over a small ruby or ruby-toned keepsake on the day.
- Open a bottle of ruby port and toast forty years with the people who were there at the start.
- Take the trip the two of them have been putting off, and call it the ruby anniversary.
- Make a photo book with a red thread running through it, one spread for each decade.
Prefer cash toward something bigger?
Set up a free anniversary registry and let friends and family chip in toward a trip, an experience, or one special gift.